"Children need to be taught their traditional ways and language.” I hear this often from tribal elders on how our kids have wandered away and become disillusioned with their cultural heritage.

One thing I know for sure is that while there are many things that influence the lives of our young people, the greatest influence is immediate family. Family, whether present or not, impacts us the most.

What role have these people played in your life? I think about my own life growing up. It was not picture perfect or without its challenges, but what my parents gave me was their presence. They gave me their time and energy. When I look back I always remember them being there for everything.

In 1990, just before the breakdown of the Soviet Union, my father took me and 15 other Montana kids on a trip to the U.S.S.R. for a wrestling exchange. Out of 15 of us, four were American Indian. Most of the time, when Americans go to other countries, they bring with them a certain entitlement attitude that becomes famously known as “Ugly American.” I will never forget the moment my dad met with some of the top Russian National team coaches and representatives and introduced himself as “an American Indian man who comes to them unafraid.” After he said this they all smiled and that moment broke the ice and opened opportunities that we never would have had had we not been American Indians.

I tell you this story to say that my father had to give up a lot in order for us to make this trip but he had a dream to make a difference and to make it happen for me in my life. Needless to say, this experience affected me tremendously. My perspective on life was broadened and my vision for success expanded.

My parents have now been married for 37 years. Today, thankfully, I have continued to maintain my commitment to my wife and have been married for more than 10 years. We have three children together and I want to leave them with the gift of presence in their lives as well. One of the ways I demonstrate this to my kids is everyday finding ways that I can be involved in their lives.

We know storytelling is a major part of Indian culture. Every night I tell my children spontaneous stories, “The Adventures of Echo Hawk,” which incorporate values and principles of life. I really get into it and they look forward to it. Being present in their lives this way allows me to teach them about life, about their ancestors. I can model for them not a life of perfection but one that is lived out of love and full of grace and forgiveness. When I am wrong or have not modeled for them the way to live I confess to them my wrong and seek their forgiveness.

Think about it this way; when we see the gang violence in our communities we get discouraged. When we notice abandonment or neglect our hearts feel sadness and even anger. Too often our comments and thoughts are focused on what these young people ought to be but they don’t have the gift of presence in their lives from the ones who love them most. These young ones getting gobbled up by gangs are seeking many things, but the one thing they are consistently seeking is presence of a community, one that they feel a part of and feel loved and protected by.

They seek camaraderie and identity. They might say they will die for one another, but the real missing element is the willingness to truly live for one another. This cannot be offered in this setting because to truly live is not self-seeking but humble. It is not temporary but it is long-suffering. It is not timid but is full of bravery. It is not conditional but it is unconditional.

I have witnessed great desire and have heard many a prayer on behalf of the younger generations only to be spoken of from afar. It is as if our young people are just going to change on their own somehow. If you will listen to many of our young people today you will find that some are disillusioned with cultural and traditional ways because in their minds those things have been weighed and found wanting.

They have asked themselves, “Why do I need to know these things? What good are they doing anyway? Who can show me by their life this is the way worth living?” Believe me, they are watching you and making their decisions. I have heard it said, “Love covers a multitude of sins.” Let this be motivation that it is never too late to offer your presence. Just offering your presence is greater than any form of gift giving.

Sitting Bull said, “Let us put our minds together and see what we can make for our children.” Let’s do that but let us not only speak about it but begin by doing what doesn’t require us to wait for grant funding. Let’s do what cannot be replaced by PlayStation and cars. Let’s do it by offering our presence today. In this we can all be hopeful.

Joshua Charette is Turtle Mountain Chippewa originally from Billings, Mont., and is currently a student at Covenant Theological Seminary in St. Louis, Mo., where he is completing his Master’s of Divinity. He can be contacted at joshuacharette@hotmail.com.